Birthday Cards for VInce

Row 1	Masks: Caption - "Good News, Bad News" Inside: "It's your birthday. You're old." Birthday cake: Inside: "carpe cakem (seize the cake)" Guy lighting matches in front of boxes labeled "pass" and "fail". Comment on front: "Acme Matches, Inc. Testing Department" Cute insects: Inside: "Happy Birthday to the star of the show!" Two kids sitting by the water: Inside: "It's your birthday, so take it easy. Relax. Wear a bucket on your head. Whatever."
Row 2	Dog Deja Doo-doo: Bubble - "I sense that I've gone here before..." Inside: "Happy Birthday and all that crap." Guy with spikey hair: Caption - "Vince learns the dangers of taking hair-growth pills and potency pills at the same time." (YES, it really does say Vince! g) Inside: "Happy Birthday" Different smiley faces: :-) happy smiley, ;-) winking smiley, *<:-) birthday smiley, etc. Inside: "Smile...It's your birthday! Have a great one" Devil talking to small person in front of him: Devil is saying, "Coffee? WHAT coffee??" Caption: "Morning in Hell" Row of babies, old machine: Caption - "On this date long ago, in that great baby-making factory in the sky, the foreman threw up his hands and said..." Inside: "At last! A perfect one! Let's go for a beer!"
Row 3	Dog making shadow puppets: Dog is saying, "Look! I'm a hand!! Har har har..." Caption - "Dog birthday parties" Inside: "Enjoy your day in the spotlight." Bugs w/ mixing bowl: Insect is saying, "Alright, who wants to lick the bowl?" Caption - "The dung beetle family prepares for another birthday." Inside: "Happy Birthday and all that crap." Waitress talking to customers, with coffee mug under her armpit: Waitress is saying, "How about you? You want your coffee warmed up?" Inside: "Warmest wishes for a happy birthday" Guy on one knee: Caption - "Don't you just hate all the attention you get on your birthday? Don't you just hate it when everybody makes a big fuss over you? Don't you hate being in the spotlight all day long? Don't you just hate all that stuff?" Inside: "We didn't think so! Happy Birthday from us!" Person at job interview: Guy at desk, reading a piece of paper, saying "It says here in your resume that you have big hair." Purple card: Caption - "and every star in the big, purple-y sky makes a happy wish" Inside: "For you. Happy Birthday"
Row 4	Grumpy baby: Caption - "But I don't want to grow up!!" Inside: "Trust me - you haven't! Happy Birthday (whether you like it or not)" Stars: Inside: "You're a star among stars! Happy Birthday" Cat on stage: Caption - "Happy birthday! Each year you just get better and better looking, and it kinda makes me think..." Inside: "You must've been kinda ugly as a baby." Porcelain cherub: Caption - "I opened the box, and inside was this tiny, delicate porcelain figurine that looked like me as a child." Inside: "I hate getting crap like that. Have a crap-free birthday." Place setting: Caption - "If you wind up at one of those restaurants where all the waiters gather around and sing 'Happy Birthday,' remember, it could be worse." Inside: "You could be one of the waiters."